Category Archives: Murder

Hell Have No Fury Like This Woman Scorned

Here is an elegy I wrote. Well, more of a narrative poem. But don’t you think that calling it an elegy makes it sound more sophisticated?

A girl met a boy
It was love at first sight
She approached him with caution
And then stayed the night

By the morning he was gone
He’d left without a trace
He was allowed to live his life
While she hid in disgrace

Within a month a lump had formed
And she knew then what had happened
The devil had entered her womb
With a babe whose soul was blackened

She told a lady of the church
A woman that she could trust
Then the lady opened her mouth
Then the girl’s noose was cast

She was taken to court
In a rather grand affair
The judge found her guilty
An adultress beyond repair

She was cast out from the world
A scarlet letter on her chest
So she took matters into her hands
And invited the judge as a guest

Just a dribble of hemlock
Then her work was done
His face turned blue with death
By the dawn of the Sun

Then she tracked down her rougue lover
The devil who fathered her child
She found him with his ship
And a reputation that was quite wild

By this time the lump had grown
And the baby had started to kick
Walking became a struggle
And the pain had set in quick

She set to work with haste
A plan was forming in her mind
His death should be abrupt
But she felt this was too kind

So she loosened the planks
And allowed rot to set in
Then she stood back and waited
For her fun to begin

A cry came from his throat
As the water trickled in
And his eyes grew wide with shock
Over judgement of his sin

She was standing on the docks
His child in her womb
And watched as he was dying
His ship sinking to its doom

Because my poems are full of sunshine and rainbows (sarcasm)!

Anyway, please excuse me while  I watch the rain. Where I live, we have short, yet heavy bursts of rain throughout the day.

See you soon (I hope)

– The Empress


My Latest Obsession

I am not a typical fangirl. Most girls in my year level dream of John Lennon (if you’re reading this, hi!), stalk 1D, lust after Peeta Mellark, and crave Augustus Waters.

However I am not like that.

I love murder mysteries. With a passion. I was the kid thinking of Miss Marple when my English teacher was going on about making predictions as a reading strategy. I was (actually, I still am) the kid who wants to go on the Orient Express in the hope I’ll meet Hercule Poirot.

But Agatha Christie is not my latest vice.

The award for that one goes to a small, fictional county in England. You guessed it: Midsomer Murders has stolen my platonic heart.


DS Ben Jones portrayed by Jason Hughes and DCI Tom Barnaby played by John Nettles in a scene from ‘Secrets and Spies,’ episode 3, series 12.

Whether it is the early episodes with DS Troy and his repulsive ties, or a later one with DCI Barnaby and his dog, I like all the episodes I’ve seen. I just have one tiny problem with it.

The timing.

Where I come from, we are dismissed from school at 3:30 in the afternoon. So of course, the ABC decides that is when they are going to air my favourite tv show. Of course, an episode is aired at 5pm Sundays and 8:30 pm Mondays (although on a different channel, which isn’t good because of the ad breaks), but am I seriously so obsessed that twice a week isn’t enough? That I need to watch it everyday, which I am refraining from doing?

The answer is yes.

Although I wish they would air more episodes with DS Scott. The ABC and Gem only air ones with Nelson, Jones, and Troy, so I can’t really compare them without Scott.

In case you haven’t worked it out, I prefer the Detective Sergeants to the two Barnabys. I don’t know why either.

But now, I am off to check the online tv guide to see if a Midsomer Murders (or any other English murder mystery. Nobody does it like the Brits) episode is airing at some point.

I doubt this will be the last you’ll hear of me and Midsomer Murders. Watch this space.